working on it

Yes...still feeling like shit. Had to bail on a good friend's much anticipated performance at a comedy club last night, and I still feel terribly about it. Whatever, I know he was amazing hilarious without the "pity laughs".

Maybe tomorrow I will feel better??

I just wanted to let anyone who was interested know that I've started that list of books I've read so far this year. A good friend of mine showed me his, and I thought it was pretty cool, so I started one. Check out the list of books I've read so far this year!

oh, you know, the usual

Again, I sing the praises of Zappos.com. Seriously, if you've never used them, then do it. Now. Best.Place.On.Earth. I tried another site, zbsports.com, to order the same shoes because they were cheaper on there, but believe me, the $9 I woulda saved was NOT WORTH IT.

Tech is...well, it's tech. It went pretty well, although we haven't actually finished teching the show (but to no fault of stage management and the PAs :) ). Three 13 hour days in a row was rough. Today's my day off, and then the rest of the week will be pretty rough, but hopefully not as rough as this weekend.

I got some tragic news this weekend...on Thursday I got a facebook message from a girl at SMC who lived in my hall first year, and who I knew relatively well. She and I share a very good mutual friends. Well, she told me that this friend of ours', one of my closest friends at SMC, I'd say, mother passed away. I'm still completely in shock, and I cannot even begin to imagine how she must be feeling. I'm totally heartbroken for her and her family. I know how close and tight knit they were (very similar to me and mine). If you're the praying type, please send some extra prayers towards Buffalo, NY this week.

One Down...Lots to Go

Wow. I made it through my first week in the big bad real world. And I loved it. I'm still getting used to the idea of working 6 days a week, my off day being Monday, but that will come in all due time. But, honestly, was there ever a month at SMC when I had more than 2 days when I had absolutely nothing to do? No, I don't think so. Never. So this should be more than doable. Plus, one of the best parts, I don't have to come home to homework/studying/papers/text books!!!

Anyways. My first show is Sherlock Holmes: The Final Adventure. I'm super excited, and I'm pretty sure it's going to be amazing. If you're in the Indy area the last few weeks of September/first week or so of October, and wanna see it, let me know!!!

In other news, cousin Katie sent me a CD of her pictures from their trip up here. How cute is this kid?!?!Today I had lunch with a girl from SMC who was in band at ND with me who just moved to Indy to be a nurse at Riley. It was great. I promised her I'd take her to Half-Price Books.

And tragedy fell on me today. I realized that I finished all of the Netflix that I currently have and tomorrow is my day off. That means no Gilmore Girls for me tomorrow because I haven't mailed any back yet. Boo. But I did finish Season One. And watched The Dead Poets Society with Ann and reminisced about 10th grade English when our teacher made us watch it.


Lastly, my bookshelves are done! Well, being built that is. I'm planning on painting them tomorrow, and then they'll really be done! Here they are pre-paint!!! Courtesy of Daddy Deeter.

Lots and Lots of Us

My cousins Katie (3 years younger) and Lily (10 years old, with the sense of humor of a 27 year old, she's awesome) have been in town this week. The got in Sunday night, super late, and Smiley went with me to pick them up from the train station. Good thing he did, cuz that is NOT a friendly place at midnight...

Plenty of jokes were made on the way home, and the first thing Katie asked me when I dropped him off was if we were dating. We aren't, at all, of course, but it's always really hard to answer that question because it is inevitably followed by something along the lines of "well you act like it" or "it seems like it" or something else--and I can see exactly why someone would THINK we are. Smiley has a theory/practice of not liking other people to know our/his business, so he would have told me why even answer the question? But I like to be open about things and talk about stuff.

Needless to say, we've been having a good time.

• We had lunch at McAlister's, one of my faves, with Aunt K.
• Went to various stores.
• Went to Borders TWICE and then to Half-Price Books (at which I found something for $3 that I bought at Borders for $13. Exchange, anyone?!? I think so.).
• Baked an awesome cake with some awesome icing.
• Stopped at Fresh Market.
• Saw a baseball game with all 9 of our family members in town.
• Had multiple marathons of The Office.
• DVR'd and watched tons of the Olympics.
• Did Mad Libs with lots of potty humor.
• Had a running contest of who could make the most Office references.
• Stayed up all night playing hard core rounds of Disney Scene-It.
• Stuffed our faces with excellent stuff.
• Had hard core Staring Contests.
• Made lots and lots of fun of each other.
• Cooked out.
• Ate at Yats with my mom.
• Shopped on Mass. Ave.

And there is still one day to go :).
What do YOU do when YOUR cousins come into town?!?

Today, while they hung out with Aunt K, I vegged out marathon-ing Gilmore Girls, which has been my first endeavor on NetFlix. (Along with The Other Boleyn Girl, which I did not enjoy at all, which really surprised me.)

too much fun!

Oh.My.Goodness.

I have tooooo many exciting things to post about. I'll try to be concise...but yeah right.

Last night Smiley asked me to be his partner for Latin Night at The Jazz Kitchen. I was abso-freakin-lutely terrified, but it was abso-f*ckin-lutely amAAAzing. Seriously. I worked out yesterday evening, hardcore too, and that plus the salsa-ing and meringue-ing kicked my butt. My hips, thighs, knees, hamstrings, did I say hips, were SO sore today. Still are. We both got dressed up. And he was nice enough to remember that my fave color-combo is "chocolate and blue" :). This is us at the very end of the night. It's the only picture that was taken last night--we were out celebrating a friend's birthday, but it ended up just being us two and her.

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This morning my dad woke me up at 7:00--in crazy pain of course--to take my car in to get fixed. The "emissions" part of the "check engine" light came on a week or so ago. I also decided to ask the car guys if they could make a new clicker for my car since mine got stolen. Turns out my car ended up needing just over $1,000 worth of "repairs". Dad said the people at this dealership (where we got this car) are always really expensive, and he thinks the intentionally look for stuff to be wrong. Yikes. But I got my new clicker!!

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The most exciting news is that I got a new phone. I'll save you the blah-die blah story about getting it just to tell you I got a BlackBerry Curve tonight!!! With a super cute blue case. I'm crazy excited! I'm still trying to figure it all out. I'm usually that girl who figures out phones super quickly, but this is a little more complicated than everything else I've ever had. If anyone has any BlackBerry advice or tips, I'd more than welcome/appreciate them!

It is kind of sad though. Not only did I love my previous phone-the LG Chocolate, which got a bad rap, but I lurv'd it-but this marks the end of an era. This is the first official adult thing I've done since graduating. We've decided I'm living at home for the next year while I work at IRT, so I haven't had to apartment hunt, and I'm so incredibly blessed to be rent-free; I don't start work until August 19th, so I haven't had any real responsibility. So, switching the phone into my name and on my tab was the first (of many) responsible/adult-like thing I've done. (Should I be admitting that? Is that pathetic??)

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In addition to taking over my phone, I signed up for NetFlix today. WooHoo!!! Should get my first DVDs on Monday or Tuesday. I've been saying I'm gonna do this for a while now. It's about time.

Watch out real world, here comes deeter (arriving on the proverbial responsibility short bus).

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Oh, and I took the card out of my old phone and put all 250ish pictures I had taken on there in 20 months onto my computer today. I think I'll start adding a picture or two from there onto posts for a while.

hmmmm...its begining to feel like...

Had a very weird moment tonight. Every once in a while, I get this weird feeling while I'm walking alone at night that something's not right, and I get really nervous. I got that tonight while I was walking to my car from Caroline and Ays' apartment. Maybe it was because as I was walking in, a fucking SBPD cop car almost (intentionally) hit me (I kid you not). Or maybe it was because while Caroline and I were watching the Office on DVR it shut off to give us an Amber Alert (which I've only experienced through hearing others talking about it, never first hand like that) and that really freaked me out. Although I do consider it really good that emergency alerts like that DO interrupt TiVo/DRV watching. Or who knows. It was just a weird feeling. So I called Smiley hoping that he'd still be up and so I could talk to him while I walked to my car. Obviously, talking on the phone doesn't PROTECT you, but it always makes me feel safer. Maybe b/c I look occupied and therefore NOT scared. Or maybe a potential danger is scared away because who ever is on the phone with me could hear what happens and call authorities? I don't know. Like I said: It was weird.

Good news is I only have 3 more classes left til graduation. And my last time working in the SMC scene shop was today. Sad.

Lastly, you know what i LOVE??? The smell of rain in spring. That fresh smell you experience right before it's going to rain, or while it's raining, or even after. You know what's even better than that? Sitting on a screened in porch during a summer rain/thunderstorm to experience the multiple sense-ness that it has. I can't wait.

I also can't wait to go back to Yoga at home this summer :)

A picture of the senior theatre majors and senior theatre groupies. All the comps and shows for the year are done. Wow.

I guess you'll have to settle for me...

So some events this week have really helped me to finally keep accepting that things really do happen for a reason.

For a long, long time I was really mad at God for giving my mom cancer a couple of times thru middle school and high school. I blamed Him, wouldn't talk to Him, and was just generally angry with him. When she was sick, I didn't talk to anyone about it. Not even her or my dad. I was miserable (understandably so). It's just really, really hard to find someone to relate to when you're going thru that, and it generally feels impossible. Especially at those ages.

Actually, I keep things in in regards to most problems in my life. I may bitch about things or tell someone (or a lot of people) but I rarely go to someone asking for help, or condolences, or advice. Luckily my closest friends-the fab 5 in naptown-know I do this, and they are pretty good at calling me on it and stepping in.

Anyways, I digress (as usual). I found out at the beginning of the semester that a friend of mine's mother was sick. I didn't find out directly from her, so I was hesitant to say something. Eventually, one day I mentioned I had heard, and told her what I had experienced and that I knew how she was feeling and that it's hard to find someone to relate to and that I am here if she needs anything.

More recently, however, I found out that someone I'm working very closely with is experiencing the same thing. Through my simple understanding of how she feels and knowledge of what she is going through, I have been able to offer her support and condolences that I know from experience she cannot find anywhere else really. Just having someone else who knows how you feel is a huge relief. I know.

Although I know I cannot speak for either of these people to say that I have helped them, but I hope I have, and I will if they need anything at all. It has just been a relief to myself to know that all of those years of pain, and being scared, and sorrow, and anger are finally proving to have happened for a reason. I had to go through it so I could better udnerstand and be there for people I know and love. So...7 years later, I guess I've let God off the hook a little bit.

insisting that faith and honor...

It's been an interesting weekend. Thursday I had to see Actors From The London Stage do "The Taming of the Shrew". Normally, I don't derive pleasure from seeing Shakespeare. I appreciate it. I respect it. I understand it's importance. But I don't actively choose it. Not to mention last time I saw AFTLS ("Hamlet") it was terrible and almost unbearable. And I've never read "Shrew" or worked on anything about it. But I was pleasantly surprised. It was really good. I didn't even THINK about falling asleep (I have been known in the worst of situations to try to fall asleep to make it go faster.) nor did I think about anything else. Also, the guy who came to our class on Tuesday was BEAUTIFUL. So it was alright.

Michaela, my boss, asked, nay, BEGGED me to stage manage the Claricello concert this weekend. Yeah it sucked. We had to be there for more than 5 hours Friday night, for more than 4 hours Saturday night, and then early for the concert today. B O R I N G. Plus the music people here are never very grateful for the work we do. So that wasn't fun. PLUS I had this dream last night that my mom was my light board op (for the real thing, I ran th eboard) and was causing all sorts of prblems with the house lights and it was INSANE. Luckily, not the case.

Last night there was a party. A Gatsby themed party. We dressed up. It was fun to bond with my theatre girls here. The last 2 weeks have been insane with the wedding and comp stuff. ANd some more stupid bull shit with smiley went down this weekend. I've been kinda flying this whole thing with him solo, but it was so nice to have their support and listen to them tell me the things i need to hear. When the party wound down, Xtina, Jacob, Carol, Lauren, and I went to steak n shake. We almost got jumped by a group of gang members.

Today was the concert. Blah. And rehearsal. It was bad. I was way off. Distracted by the stupid Claricello stuff, and being angry with him, and other stuff. So I ended it halfway thru. And was back to my room in time to see The Office win a SAG award.

The last thing of importance is taht this week is the THEATRE MAJOR OF THE WEEK week. And, as SAC rep, I had to plan all the events. Everyone who reads this, please come!!!
Monday--Movie night 6-8pm, Moreau 228. Voting on a movie to watch.
Tuesday--Improv/Acting game night. 6-8 or 9pm. Moreau 232.
Wednesday--Dress as your favorite character from a musical or play--all day, everywhere!
Thursday--Theatre Trivia contest night. Prizes! 6-8pm, Moreau 232. If you have any questions to contribute, I'd really appreciate it.

kciwraw

1st important thing to write about: I got shoes to go with the uberuber cute dress I got for the wedding. Brown Patent Leather Peep Toe Heels. YAY :)


2nd important thing to write about: I met with the Executive Director from the Indianapolis Opera, where I interned this summer, today. He and I talked about my future and contacts etc. He told me that I'm outgoing and all, but I'm too closed to uncertainty and taking risks. I don't know if that's true or not...I've spent most of the day thinking about that and what it means and possibilities because of that...damnitt.

3rd important thing to write about: Tomorrow is Frankie's annual christmas bash. YAY!!!!! ALL FREAKING FIVE OF US will be there. I AM SO EXCITED. Plus Ann's awesome boyfriend Duffy, and Smiley's coming with me.

4th important thing to write about: Supplies to finish putting together my book for ACTF cost $91 today. Balls.

5th important thing to write about: Crabs is coming over. Yay. We're going to watch The Holiday. If you haven't seen it...you need to. NOW. But more importantly we're going to girl talk--and GOD ONLY KNOWS how much I need that right now. Seriously.

6th important thing to write about: I leave for South Bend/ACTF on Tuesday...

in darkness in gloom

My dad came home from work today and asked me (whilest laying on the couch watching the office and still in jammies) "why dont you hang out with your friends during the day?" my first thought??? I dont have friends. lol. but in all seriousness, all my home friends are gone right now. One in Cinci, one in Iowa, one with family up north somewhere, and one in NYC. so what's a girl to do but watch the office in her pajamas while reading a good book.

But seriously. Being home with not much to do is making me nuts. I start thinking of things, running things through my mind that I shouldn't, and drive myself insane. They are things that are still on my mind at school, but I don't obsess over them because I have other thigns to do that are sometimes more important, or just important enough for me to be doing. I need to find myself a happy medium here. And by medium, I mean be able to have my mind focused like that while I'm at home. Grrr..

Also, the parents are making me NUTS. My mom in particular. It's just one damned question after another damned question. And she never shuts up. We're sitting watching TV--dad watching and reading, mom reading a catalogue or something, and I;m watching and doing stuff on the computer. What does she do? Start reading shit outloud. It's really frustrating. I know, I sound horrible and mean and terrible. But if you had to experience this too, you'd be going nuts as well.